The first thing you must do before you can even think about how to get back together is to control your emotions. After a breakup, especially one you want to continue, you are in a very high emotional state. You may become depressed, you may be feeling lost, and you may not know what went wrong and you start questioning everything about yourself.
Your first instinct will be to call you ex and immediately through streaming tears beg for forgiveness from her or him and grovel until you get them to come back. Stop! This is the exact thing you must control your emotions for. This will drive a huge wedge between you and your ex and actually have the opposite affect of what you want to accomplish.
Remind yourself that you are very emotional right now. You probably are not thinking logically at all. In reality, you should probably do the exact opposite of everything you think you should be doing. Really want to call your ex? Don't! Want to find out where he/she is so you can see them? Don't! If you want success, doing these things is not how to get back together with you ex.
So what steps should you take. To begin, get in control of your emotions and remind yourself not to do things that will not help you regardless how badly you want to. Then start these steps.
1 - Accept the fact that you have split apart.
Accepting this may be the hardest step in this process, but it really needs to be done. You do not have to be happy with the situation, but if you are looking to get back together in the future, you need to be calm and civil about it. You are already feeling pressures and stress, your ex is too, there is nothing good that can come out of an emotional roller coaster of feelings adding to the situation. You are both going to review the situation, and really you both need that time.
2 - Give them breathing room.
Again, you are going to want to make some type of contact with your ex. Do not do it! Not at any time right now. Doing so will only push them further away from you, again, they need the breathing room with time to think. This does not make sense to you, right? It is psychological, the break up is fresh, and their mind now has a link or emotional map to the experience. The map or link emotionally is an unpleasurable experience. Seeing or hearing you automatically makes the mental connection to that map or link and all the unpleasurable experience comes back instantly, thus you are doing the exact opposite, pushing them away to escape the experience. Make sense now?
3 - After time has passed, get together somewhere.
Once you have completed the two steps mentioned just above, you can start working on planning on when you should meet, where you should meet, and also what should be said when you do meet up again. This will allow you to get a better idea of whether or not your ex still loves you, and also if there is any chance that you and your ex will be able to get back together.
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